How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
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Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
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So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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