she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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