Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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