why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
