This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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