I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
