All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
