I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
