What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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