so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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