i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
