I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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