You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
