carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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