just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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