If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
