Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
