I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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