Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
