Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
