and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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