his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
