Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
