Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
