As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
