Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
