so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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