I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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