I puked a lego.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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