dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
