So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
