she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
