You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
