Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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