I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
