is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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