oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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