Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
