Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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