1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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