As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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