He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
