Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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