Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
