i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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