Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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