His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
