just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
