She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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