They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
