i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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