I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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