I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
