Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
