Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
