Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is Oprah even human
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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