playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
