come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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