There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
