I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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