Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
