She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
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You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
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it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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