You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
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I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
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Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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