well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Sorry about my life...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
